Friday, March 28, 2008

The Evil Passport Picture

I am presently renewing my passport - renewing it after five years of having a passport with a decent photo of myself in a nice light, SMILING! Smiling! I only look pretty when I smile (unlike Posh Spice who claims she looks ugly when she smiles) and now we are not allowed to smile!!! What's with that? So now I have a passport photo that looks as though I went on a shooting spree at my local 7-11.

Correction: I have a couple of passport photos of myself on I shooting spree. I am the proud owner of four of the most horrific photos of me.

I went for them at Costco - perhaps my first mistake? They have terrible lighting in general. Clearly they are going to have equally bad lighting for passport pics. I wore a nice colour, I did my hair, and I had mascara on. But no, the picture is hideous. Hideous.

Now I am sure you think that a passport photo doesn't matter. That everyone has crappy passport photos. Or that is what the Engineer said. But I think that is a lie. I am pretty sure Angelina Jolie looks amazing in her passport photo. Then again, she is Angelina Jolie.

The thing is, it looks like I may have a new job traveling around the world. If I am traveling around the world representing fabulous women everywhere, don't I have to look fabulous in my passport photo? It is the key to the world after all. Plus I have to look at this freaking photo for five years.

I decided I needed a re-do. I did my hair all nice, put MORE make-up on, a nice colour shirt again, and this time with my fake Van Cleef and Arpels necklace. I walked back to Costco, which was my first mistake because it was stupid windy outside. But whatever. So I went back to the counter, put down another $7 and sat for another photo. I made sure I had no mascara goo in the corners of my eye; I had some gloss, and some colour to my cheeks. And I even sneakily smiled for the photo - HA! And the man didn't notice!

Then I got the photo back. It's worse that the first one! GAH! What's worse? Having a horrible photo for five years or having a horrendous photo after making an effort to look your best?

I know that I am no model but I had no idea I could look as ugly as I do in those freaking photos. I am sad. I am going to go get a glass of wine now . . ..

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