Monday, March 17, 2008

The Delicate Art of Parallel Parking

So I am pretty much the bee’s knees when it comes to parallel parking. I would go as far as to say that if there were an award for the parking in parallel, I would be world champion. Ironic that I failed it on my driving test.

I love driving. I have loved driving my whole life. As a kid (on a farm) I drove anything I could: tractors, dirt bikes, the lawn mower. So when I turned 16, you can bet your boots I was at the DMV. You can also bet your boots that when he big, fat smelly mean man otherwise known as my tester handed me my fail slip, I ran to my dad crying.

I still think that parallel parking tests are sort of stupid as in some cities you never need it. Obviously, I was not a natural p. parker as I failed it – but can you blame me? Half my life was spent in rural Alberta driving in wheat fields and gravel roads and the other half in Winnipeg – a land of malls and big, wide-open parking lots. I don’t know many people who are forced to park that way in Winnipeg. I mean for heaven sakes, they took us across town just to learn how to drive on a hill. I learned how to pp between pylons.

But I did eventually pass (a week later with the neighbor’s borrowed hatchback) and when I moved to rainy city I was forced to learn how to pp fast and well. Which brings me to my earlier point, I freaking rock at pping!! I tell you this only because I did a bang up job earlier today that got thumbs up from an old guy in an SUV.

My pp expertise has not only gotten the thumb’s up from passer’s by, but applause from people eating on the sidewalk patio and cheers from my friends inside the car. I have even taken a photo of a pp job I did once, where I squeezed my little Golf into an itsy bitsy space in the West End where parking is virtually impossible. I am known not only for fitting in to tight spaces but my speed and agility. Seriously, I should go to the Olympics.

There is really no point in telling you this. I just rock at pp and had nothing else to say today.

And to all those brave souls who fail their driver’s test whilst pping: have faith young driver, have faith.

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