Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Skinny on the Skinny Jean

Whoever invented the skinny jean/pant should be shot.  No, not just shot.  But drawn and quartered.  Okay, perhaps that is a bit too much but with the torture those pants have put us women through that person deserves some payback.

I HATE SKINNY JEANS!  Most people (okay women)  hate skinny jeans.  I must admit that I look at those stick-legged girls who look oh so fashionable in the skinny pant and think, "hey, they are pretty nice".  Then make the mistake of trying on a pair for myself and quickly realize that putting skinny pants on my thighs is like putting casing on sausage.

I am not fat, I merely have curves.  And thighs.  My thighs do not like tight denim strangling them.  I look like a deranged hooker in skinny pants.  

The worst is men who wear skinny jeans.  Did we ever think that was sexy?  Even in the 80's?  Because it is not.  Men tend to have skinny chicken legs anyways (assholes) and they should not accentuate them in skinny pants.  It just looks dumb.  They look like girls, bobble head girls.  Boys need to learn that the best fit for them is boot cut, slightly slim but enough baggy to leave the rest up to our imagination.  But not too baggy that the pants hang off their asses like some drugged up hip hop star.  

Anyhoo, that is my rant on skinny pants.  No clothing should ever be called skinny - unless it promises to make you skinny like Spanx - that is okay.

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