Sunday, May 11, 2008

Big Apple, Little Seed

I grew up on a farm.  Sort of.  I was born in rural Alberta and my dad is a farmer so I feel strongly in being able to claim country roots.  I spent my educational time in a small, Canadian prairie city.  So small that when I moved to rainy city I thought for sure I had hit big time.  Then I travelled the world.  I discovered London, Bangkok, Tokyo, Paris . . . . and I realized that rainy city is a very tiny city in comparison.

There have been times living in my urban apartment where I felt as though I wanted more, needed more bustle and hustle.  So I came to the Big Apple - birth place of hustle and bustle.  And freaking honking cars and stupid slow-walking tourists!!

New York is easy to love, I think.  Here are some things I have learned during my time in the city that never sleeps:
1.  Honking is mean and stupid and really annoying.  YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE DUMBASS!
2.  I look like a native because people ask me for directions - it must be my frowny face trying to get through the crowds.
3.  Times Square is full of overpriced horrible food and stupid people wearing matching sweatshirts.  OR wearing matching colours - tan pants/orange shirt, orange pants/tan shirt
4.  I am really good at hailing taxis
5.  The subway is faster than a taxi
6.  If I am going to jaywalk, don't do it in front of a honking cab and then scream like an old lady in front of a crowd of real New Yorkers (I heard one lady say "She ain't from New York")
7.  People I see in TV and movies do exist:  fat black chicks who hold their palms up and say 'Don't go there', women dressed head to toe in designer clothes on Park Ave that are clearly on some sort of mood enhancing drug, more plastic surgery than LA (I never thought that was possible)
8.  Three drinks will cost $50 and I shouldn't faint
9.  Room service breakfast for two costs $81 and I shouldn't have a heart attack
10.  I am a small seed in a big apple

I really am a small town girl.  And I really love the rainy city where no one honks at you and my feet don't hurt all day.  But before I go back to my smallish city, I think I should go have some more big city adventures . . . . . 

No comments: