It's the MOST wonderful time of the year . . .
Well, it is if you are one of those lucky chosen few who get to be in Oprah's audience for her 'Favorite Things' episode.
And this year there were two episodes.
The Engineer hates Oprah. He finds her annoying. If she introduced him on her show it would sound like this: Today on OPrah we have the ENginEEEEEEEEER!
Erm, it's harder to write than to say. But you know what I mean. That weird yelling/emphasis thing she does.
Back to the Engineer hating Oprah. His only exposure to a 'Favorite Things' episode was the SNL parody starring Maya Rudolph, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch. It's not on Hulu or the SNL website but I found it via another blogger taped from the television:
The Things That Make Me Laugh
You have to watch carefully but you may notice Rachel peeing her pants in the front row and Amy Poehler's head popping off in the sheer excitement of getting free stuff.
On a rainy Saturday, I made the Engineer watch Part One of Oprah's 'Favorite Things'. Watching with him was pretty much the funniest thing ever.
Have you watched this show? Have you seen the craziness that are these people getting amazing gifts for free?
The Engineer thought they were joking. He didn't realize we were watching Oprah. He wondered where Tina Fey was.
No, Engineer, they are that crazy.
I don't blame them. I would be going nuts too if I was getting a free cruise, or an iPad, or a freaking 2012 VW Beetle that isn't even MADE!!!!
It is mob mentality right? Two hundred people making each other go crazy. Someone is bound to faint.
As the episode progressed, and the medics were brought in (due to said fainting), the Engineer grew more and more agitated.
Oprah: "A set of CANDles!!"
Camera pans to a man whose mouth is open in astonishment and tears stream down his face.
The Engineer: "WHAT? For candles? This isn't real. This is a joke. Is this a joke?"
Then a woman started praying to God.
Well, that just set the Engineer off. "It's MACARONI AND CHEESE!! Is this an audience for a sporting event that they are faking to be on Oprah?"
In fact, the only time the audience didn't go crazy was when they got the Kiva gift certificates. For an audience that was chosen based on their charity work, their reaction was lacklustre. The Engineer flipped out. "WHAT? How can they possibly be charitable? They're so materialistic. They should be the most excited about charity."
Me: "Maybe they are so excited because now they can give their presents away."
Today's episode had even me wanting to pee my pants and blow my head off with excitement. A Le Creuset set AND an iPad? AND a VW Bug? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Here's the thing about Oprah: she is a billionaire and crazy successful and yet she is GRATEFUL everyday for her success and continues to better herself spiritually, emotionally and physically. You may not like her (um, Engineer) but I think that is very cool. I am also fascinated by the fact that all those 'favorite things' are now bestsellers.
The Oprah effect. Pretty incredible stuff. Businesses will spend upwards of $20 000 to get on her favorite things episode. And when they are accepted, they can roll out the carpet of success. They are immediately sold out and on the road to millions.
This was her last favorite things. I for one am sad. I mean, (A) how will I know what to put on my Christmas list next year? (B) watching that episode bonds the Engineer and I in gut bursting laughter for an hour and (C) I will miss the crazy.
Like her or not, Oprah: one of my favorite things.