Sunday, November 7, 2010

Bad Brooklyn, BAD Dog!

The trials and tribulations continue living in a new house with the two beasties. 

The glass front door is in desperate need of a curtain and the top of the stairs is in desperate need of a baby gate.  I feel these two items will stop Brooklyn barking/screaming at the door which leads to either myself, or the Engineer, running down the stairs to yell 'No Noise Brooklyn!  No Noise'. 

He doesn't seem to care.  Punishing this animal seems to be impossible.

Just the other day he escaped through the front door as I collected the mail.  This was a catastrophe for several reasons.

The main one being that I was wearing my PJ bottoms, a tank top, and my velcro rollers.  VELCRO rollers. 

As Brooklyn merely looked at me when I called his name, wagged his tail and lifted his leg, I was forced to dash upstairs and grab some doggie chicken.  Leaving Mr. Mop howling and scratching at the front door, I ran across the street (I am sure these neighbors hate us by now) in my slippers and rollers.  Brooklyn ran up the steps, then down the steps, then up the steps next door and around the corner to their backyard.

The doggie chicken was not as enticing as the freedom of the strange backyard.  So the asshole crawled under the fence, leaving me on my hands and knees, hissing his name and waving chicken under the fence.

He looked at me and then pooped.  He POOPED in their backyard.  Then he went under their deck and sniffed for a while until the lure of chicken was enough to come back to me. 

I did not give him the chicken.  He got put on his back and told he was naughty.  He sneezed. 

Unfortunately the gate was locked so I had to leave his poop.  I wonder if the neighbors think about the mystery poop they must have found raking the backyard and blame it on the new family across the street.

Oh god. 

To make matters worse, the city construction crew decided to arrive to fix the water pipe at the exact moment I was stomping across the street with a panting dog, a handful of chicken, and, in case you forgot, VELCRO ROLLERS IN MY HAIR!  AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

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