There was once a time when if I felt a bit out of shape and needed some toning, I knew that two weeks of hard training at the gym would get me back to my size 6 jeans. Fine, size 8.
That time was last year. Then something happened and the magic stopped. I box everyday straight for three weeks and I think I have gotten fatter!
When did the magic stop?
Oh that's right. September 9, 2009. My 30th birthday. Otherwise known as the day that my metabolism stopped functioning.
I heard that this happens as we age. And it gets worse with every year. I didn't think they meant it would start so fast!
It's actually noticable. Like one week, I would go to the gym and I would see results fairly quickly and then the next week my flat tummy was no more.
It's happening to all my 30-year old friends. One gained a bit of weight when drinking too much in England so upon returning home, cut out alcohol expecting to lose any weight she had gained within the month.
Now not only do I have to work twice as hard as I used to, but I also have to use anti-wrinkle cream! I didn't think about it until the other day when someone told me I should start thinking about wrinkle cream in my early thirties. In my head I thought I had plenty of time. Then I remembered: I am in my early thirties!
32/33 was always my magic number for having children. It was always so far away. Now it's just two years! TWO YEARS! And I actually have to consider child birth for real!
What's next? Arthritis? Oh yeah, I forgot. That's already developing in my hips!
Well I suppose a chubbier belly and expensive skin cream is the trade-off of leaving my 20's, and all the uncertainty and 'self discovery' they held, and entering a more stable and secure time.
But seriously, why doesn't the plank just do what it's supposed to?