Tuesday, March 9, 2010

And the Oscar Goes to . . . .

Last night was the biggest night of the year for Hollywood.  The Oscars.

I can't decide if it's my dissipating dream to someday be at the Oscars or the fact that the Olympics overshadowed any Academy Award fever, but I felt quite lack luster this time round.

Since moving to Vancouver, I have had an Oscar party every single year.  I always have some sort of theme, there is usually a poll & prizes, and most always there is plenty of wine and champagne.  And every year, I actually watch the nominated films.

This year?  I sat on my couch, with the boys and my homemade Thai green curry wearing Lululemon pants.  And I saw only two of the nominated films.  Make that one.

My lack of caring and non-enthusiasm does not mean I do not have judgements.  I always have judgements.

Firstly, you know who I hate seeing on the Red Carpet?  Miley Cyrus.  OMG.  Granted, I can't help but feel bitter towards a 17-year old trash bag with absolutely no acting chops and a horrific accent rolling down the carpet three times, when I have yet to go once.  But on top of that, she has to present?  AND OPEN HER MOUTH TO BEN MULRONEY?  GAH!

I believe I guffawed when she told him how excited she was about her cameo role in the upcoming 'Sex and the City' movie.  According to her, and her horrible accent, she has been a HUGE fan of the show for YEARS.  Ummm, correct me if I am wrong in my math but if Miley is 17, and SATC started in 1998, then this annoying human was watching it at the age of five.  She's been a huge fan of Carrie Bradshaw and blow jobs since she was five?


At least give us teens like Amanda Seyfried who can at act (and sing), and is poised and sweet.

Secondly, I love Steve Martin, Alec Baldwin, Steve Carell and Tina Fey.  They are just pretty much the best things at the Oscars (hmmm, three of them are on TV).

Except the dresses.  The dresses this year were stunning.  They were old-school Hollywood glamour.  When I watched the awards as a young, impressionable youth (21) who believed I would be famous by 27 (cough) I would practice my speech in the shower with a shampoo bottle.  Now?  All I do is see how all those gorgeous gowns could work as a wedding dress.

Don't worry, I haven't given up on my dream. I am just more realistic.  Like my fake-sort-of-stalking-bumping-into-at-the-Shake-Shack Tina Fey fantasy where we become friends and I write and then co-star in '30 Rock'.  About as far fetched as me getting an Oscar?

Ummm yes.

Here's the thing about the Oscars:  they are political.  It's a really fancy sham, pat-on-your-back night that really has no merit to talent.  I'm not saying the nominees aren't talented.  They are.  And even though Mo'nique said her award was not political (debatable), I now believe that a little gold man can't tell you how good you are.  You can be a super amazing talented actor and never get an Oscar.  Heck, you might not even get a chance to be on the box or silver screen.

I also now fully believe that it would be way more fun to go to the Golden Globes.  They are cooler.  There is free pour Moet, everyone is sitting at tables with each other, chatting, laughing, getting drunk.  And the world of television and film collide.

I wish I had seen this year's movies.  It would have made it more exciting I am sure.  I wasn't rooting for anyone.  But as soon as Sandra Bullock opened her mouth I knew she was a good choice.  How can you not love this woman?  And as cliche as it is to honour the other women in the category, I love how she did it!  When she thanked her mom?  Balling.

I also love that Carey Mulligan was wearing forks on her dress.  You don't even know who she is yet.  I do. I saw her on Broadway in The Seagull.  We had no idea who she was when we watched it, but leaving the theatre, my friend (very picky theatre gal) and I raved about this unknown's performance.  So present.  So real.  And now she's a moviestar and is like the next Kate Winslet.

John Hughes?  Best tribute EVER.  AAAAAAH!  I had a VHS copy of Sixteen Candles that I would watch again and again.  I vow to have a John Hughes party because now that I am not ten, I bet I will actually get the jokes.

Other than that, I was more interested in online shopping.

I won't lie:  if I happen to end up at the Oscars someday I certainly won't be sad.  And who knows?  I might hit my career stride in my 40's.  But as I get older and more realistic, I realize how fun it is not to care about the Oscars.  Is this what normal, non-film people are like on a daily basis?  They don't know someone who knows someone at the awards? They don't talk about the set all day? They don't compare what auditions they have been to in the last week?


I sort of like it.  It's so much easier.

I am sure that everyone likes watching for the best and worst dressed though, right?  I always get a kick out of that.  I have some friends, and my mother, who always criticize moviestars at the Oscars.  I can't help but think:  sure, their gown is ugly, but they are at the Oscars and we are sitting on our asses eating pizza.  I feel we can't really judge.

I'll always love Hollywood, and the facade it puts on.  It is fun to watch.  And I think it would be fun to be a part of it.  But then I remind myself, I sort of am.  And it ain't so glamourous.

The red carpet sure looks soft though . . . .

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