The Engineer nearly dumped me last night. Apparently. I was asleep. He nearly broke up our three year relationship over a . . . . . . . mosquito.
That's right, I tiny, but annoying, insect. He was going to let this blood sucker break us up.
Why you ask?
Because it was my fault there was a mosquito in our home to begin with.
We have a window in our bedroom that is above my desk. I love to have my window open to let in the glorious fall breeze. This window has a screen. And you have to put the screen in when you open the window. And sometimes I forget to put the screen in.
In Vancouver I don't need a screen! I like the window to be open wider than the screen allows! It was so freaking cold here that I thought all the mosquitos were dead! It's October!
So many excuses and one itty bitty, teeny tiny, but horrific mosquito. This mosquito is an asshole. I have about seven bites on my arms from last night alone.
Anyways, the Engineer really hates the mosquito. He goes to bed with a toque pulled over his eyes, a long shirt and then cocoons himself in the duvet. At about 4:30 last night he sat up straight in bed, turned on the lights and yelled a very loud curse word. I sleepily peeped my eyes open.
From my view he looked ridiculous. Sitting up in bed with a toque sitting haphazardly and trying to locate the mosquito. He sort of looked like a cat. You know how they jerkily move their heads around when they are following a fly? That's what he looked like.
And he was MAD.
He stormed out of bed, went to his office (to do what I have no idea), so I turned off the light. He stormed back in, turned the light back on and proceeded to check his Blackberry (because mosquitos hide in them). I could sense he was mad, and sure it was my fault, but he looked so ridiculous that I couldn't help by start laughing at him. And it made him laugh (he told me this morning he was fake laughing - lies).
He killed what we think was the rogue mosquito and went back to bed. It took me until 5:30 to fall back asleep. Now it was my turn to be mad.
This morning, he informed me that he was sooooooo mad at me (for not putting in the screen) that he was considering breaking up with me (apparently what he was doing in the office) but didn't want me telling people he dumped me over a mosquito. Because it was over a screen, he said. Yeah, because that reason would be so much better.
So now I can't whine that I have bites all over my arms. And I will never ever forget to put the screen in the window. In fact, I am sitting in front of it now and a lovely fall breeze is blowing my curtains. We also have to assume that New York has mutant mosquitos that NEVER die.
God, I hope he doesn't see the hole in the screen in the bathroom. He might go crazy.