Turning the Big 3-0

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday.

I have been dreading it since September 10th, 2008.  

Apparently, September 9 of this year is lucky.  09-09-09 happens to be the 252nd day of the year.  2+5+2= 9  

Also, both Wednesday and September have nine letters.  It's all about luck tomorrow.  

I think I need it to not have a heart attack.  I really can't tell you why this birthday/age has me wanting to run for the hills and hide forever.  Or lie about my age on Facebook (although from constant teasing by a certain friend, my true age is finally on IMDB).

I once remember listening to a girl I knew who was about four years older than me.  She was about to turn 27 (so I was 23) and she was upset because she felt as though she should be farther in her  life at that age.  I remember thinking, 'God, I'm glad I'm not like that.  I rock for my age.  Wait till I'm 30.'  And now I am.

Here are the things I thought I would have by 30:

1.  A wedding/engagement ring

2.  A baby, or a baby on the way

3.  An Oscar

4.  The freedom not to always say a silent prayer when using the ATM or my Mastercard

5.  A super crazy career (hence the Oscar)

I have none of those things.  But I do have:

1.  A boyfriend

2.  Two dogs

3.  Yup, nothing compares to that one

4.  It's a recession

5.  Oh I do.  I was just hoping it was crazy in a different way

My friend Aubs merely says 'You turn 30.  You look at your life and realize it hasn't turned out the way you thought it would and then you move on.'  Another person I spoke to said that 30 was so hard because it's the one age that has always meant ADULT.  In our current generation 40 is the new 20, 60 is the new 40, but 30 is ADULT.  It's not the new 18, it's not the new era of backpacking across Europe and finding yourself (that's what we did five years ago) and it certainly isn't going to school and getting a degree (oh wait, it is).

I had a hard time turning 13 because I was afraid to grow up.  At 20, it felt pretty good.  Albeit I was living in Scotland and dancing on tables with friends while doing whiskey shots.  

My friends all came out from Rainy City to celebrate with me this past weekend, so that definitely helped the blow. 

And I spent the day after in much the same state I did after that night of whiskey shots.  So maybe 30 is the 20?