They are retired and therefore travel as much as they can. Or, in other words, my mother drags my father to some far off destination. The only place he will really go willingly is Australia (they lived there when they were young and cool. Before me.) and to the Maritimes. Also, the odd cruise to Alaska.
France? No, he hates French people. Italy? No, he hates Italians. Well, I don't know if that's true but I sort of suspect it.
He has now told my mum if she wants to go away, to go without him. I think he's going to regret that one.
On their travels, they sometimes do things that I wish I could witness for myself. These are the things I call, 'Parents: Do NOT attempt'. No offence to parents, it's just that there are some things I know you ain't gonna like.
Kayaking off the coast of Tofino is one of those things.
When my mum announced they would be doing this I believe I laughed because I thought she was joking. Obviously offended by my scorn, she wondered just why I thought it was so funny. Ummm, it's hard and you have to paddle. Oh, and it's on the sea. My mum is sort of a wuss. And even though she is a regular at Curves, I wouldn't exactly commend her on her upper body strength. Plus, she gets seasick.
As predicted, they hated it. Not only because it was hard. But because they had to wear wetsuits. Both parents were appalled. My mum is not exactly a size 8 - which I am, and I hate wetsuits. Pulling them up makes you feel like a sausage-cased whale. My mum hid behind the bathroom as she attempted her wet suit. The horror. Poor woman. My dad? The only one they had left that would fit his shorter and stout figure was pink. That's right. My 64-year old retired farmer and foreign diplomat was forced to wear a pink wetsuit. God, I wish I had been there.
My parents have done other wacky things. Like rent a motorcycle complete with sidecar. I wish I had a picture to share with you because the idea makes me giggle every time I think of it. My dad just revving the engine and my mum sitting sidecar, her head bobbing along the highway.
But I am proud my parents did attempt these things now that I think about it. So what that it didn't work out? They were brave enough to try. And in life, you never know unless you try.
Except, I feel my parents really should avoid any jumping off things. Or driving off-road vehicles. Or deep sea fishing. In fact, I think they should stick to what they know: wine tasting and long strolls.