Friday, July 6, 2007

Why we marry

So I watched this CBC documentary the other day on why people get married in this day and age - and it made me think: why the hell do I want to get married so bad??

Apparently people in France and Quebec are no longer feeling the need to marry, they insist on common-law, which is surprising that a Catholic society who used to think that sharing a toothbrush holder without a marriage licence is a ticket straight to hell. But then again, they're French. French do everything they want to. They revolt against kings, they drink wine while pregnant, they don't get fat. Seriously, is it any wonder why French people are often hated? And now they don't need le wedding to commit to le love.

All my friends are married, well mostly. If they aren't, they want to get married. And yet none are particularily religious or traditional. At first I couldn't even answer why I want to get married. Isn't it enough if the Engineer and I decide to stay loyal to each other for life without the vows or the wedding dress? Ummmm, NO!

But then again, I am fairly traditional in some ways. And I am orderly and I like ceremony. My Christmas tree always goes up December 15th. I drink egg nog and listen to carols. The angel goes on last. I go to midnight mass even though I am a Buddhist simply because I like the carols and sticking candles in the snow. On Halloween, I have to carve the pumpkin BEFORE my costume goes on otherwise it is not really Halloween. Easter always involves a new pink item in my wardrobe and a pretend Easter egg hunt even though I am almost 30. Thanksgiving always gets a country drive. I get drunk at the Stampede. See? I am totally traditional.

And also, I ike a ceremony just so that I can refer to it. A commitment not said out loud to the love of your life is like a burial for your grandma without a funeral. I need those signposts so that I know it happened. Take University. You go there for four (okay, six) years and at the end you have the choice to go to convocation or not. I took the convocation route. I wore the cap and gown. I walked on stage and shook someone's hand. My mum took pictures of my dad and I with my $30 000 piece of paper. Therefore, I can look back and say 'Yes, I graduated from University'. I don't think I would have felt the completion as much if I had just had it mailed to me (like other friends I know).

Therefore, when that special someone and i decide we want to be together for the rest of our lives, I NEED that cermemony. I need those vows said out loud in front of friends and family. I need the dress and . . . . well, I just want a dress really. That way I KNOW I am commited. I will have had at least a hundred witnesses telling me so. I will look back at pictures and think "Yup, that's me. I said 'I Do' in front of people so I guess I have to put up with him throwing his underwear at my head when I am sleeping because he thinks it is a funny way to wake me up" I need that closure. Or beginning. Whatever way you want to look at it.

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