Friday, January 14, 2011

Anti-Resolutions

I realize the New Year has come and gone as has my resolution to write EVERYDAY.  There is nothing like New Year's resolutions to make you feel like total crap.

Which got me to thinking (okay, Martha Stewart got me to thinking with an article about setting more positive resolutions) about setting New Year's anit-resolutions.  Not in the 'I intend to kill small animals'  resolution that the word 'anti' conjures up, but more in the "Do not beat thyself up" type of resolution.

Example:

Normal Resolution:
I will lose ten pounds before my wedding.

Anti-Resolution:
I will walk, dance, run, and play every week so that I  feel healthy and strong for my wedding day.

Normal Resolution:
Stop eating sugar

Anti-Resoltution:
Eat sugar, it only makes me sweeter.

Normal Resolution:
Write every single day on pain of death.

Anti-Resolution:
Write as I feel. Or write with a morning cup of tea.

Normal Resolution:
Wake up every morning at eight.

Anti- Resolution:
Stop feeling guilty because you go to sleep at 5 in the morning.

Then there are these ones:

Normal Resolution:
Stick to Engineer's regimented budget

Anti-Resolution:
Start buying dresses when they are on sale, not full price (super easy when you make friends with sales)

Normal Resolution:
Turn off television and read a book

Anti-Resolution:
Listen to book on iPhone while playing Super Mario Brothers

Normal Resolution:
Train Mr. Mop to like children

Anti-Resolution:
Avoid children

Normal Resolution:
Vacuum every other day

Anti-Resolution:
No longer a Virgo so not afraid of dirt.

Normal Resolution:
Cook every meal

Anti-Resolution:
Re-heat take-out.  It's practically cooking

Normal Resolution:
Live in present moment

Anti-Resolution:
Get rid of clocks.

See?  Easy peasy.  Once you throw out the traditional notion of New Year's resolutions making you a better person, make a resolution to realize you are human, full of faults and unless you are a serial killer or mafia boss, you probably don't need to change :)

1 comment:

Tales From a Bar Stool said...

These kept me giggling. Brilliant!