Tuesday, February 1, 2011

To Have or Not To Have Kids at Weddings

I think there are three stages of being a bride:

1.  The young blushing bride.  This was our friend who got married just after graduating from school.  They were the among the first few weddings any of us ever went to so we got really really drunk and still made out with groomsmen.

2. The single-gal-cum-bride.  She's in her late 20's/early 30's and was single for most of her twenties.  Therefore she has her kitchen pretty much full of what she wants already.  She was also a bridesmaid at young bride weddings so is even PICKIER than a young blushing bride.

3. Mature bride.  This is the woman who is in her late 30's/early 40's who has a super chic affair with a small group of family and friends.  It's the melding of two households that are very well set up so the wedding registry is for expensive champagne.

Okay, that's really making assumptions.

Anyhoo, I fall into category #2. 

Want to know what one of the biggest difference between all the weddings?  The kid factor.

Blushing bride's friends don't have kids yet - so it's mostly a kid-free wedding.
Mature bride either has the ability to not invite children because all of her friends are more than happy to leave their young ones at home OR the kids that are invited are kids, not babies.

Single gal/bride has babies at her weddings.  It's just the way it is.

To invite children is one of the biggest guest list questions. Due to the fact that I am getting married in a destination AND that it's a casual wedding, I had no problem inviting kids.

What if I was having an intimate, chic affair in the city?  Yeah, no kids.

So many people are offended when their children are not invited.  One of my bridesmaids had a child-free wedding and a certain relative TO THIS DAY barely speaks to her now due to the non-child rule.

It's fair I think.  My friend, not the parent.  I love kids (okay, I like certain kids) but a wedding is actually not a super place for them.  Weddings are boring for them.  Speeches?  The ceremony?  Not to mention a group of bad influencing adults drunk on love, urm, wine. 

Then again, a wedding is a happy celebration of family.  Kids are a part of the family.  Flowergirls are pretty darn cute right?

Dreamspun Kids

I remember being a flowergirl at the age of 2 1/2 - the memory of the 'Chicken Dance' and the vision of my aunt and all her pink bridesmaids still makes me happy.  Then again, I got halfway down the aisle, freaked out and screamed for my mum.  I also had to be carried out of the reception throwing a tantrum because they wouldn't play the 'Chicken Dance' again. 

Heck, it's better than my aunt's brother who was carried out on a food tray because he passed out.

The kids at wedding debate is a sore spot for many.  Especially for the bride who is at the age when the young blushing gals are pregnant because they have been married for a few years.

My solution is to hire two babysitters who can keep an eye on the kids so the parents can enjoy the party.  We have games, bubbles and colouring for them.  Plus a room on premise for sleeping when they crash from the sugar highs.

The one thing I DO hate about kids at weddings are stupid parents. We were at a wedding where a 2-year old was throwing a tantrum during the ceremony.  The parents obviously didn't want to miss the vows but their child was ruining it for everyone.  To the point the bride and groom shot daggers into the audience!

Therefore the old phrase "Seen but not heard" fits kids at weddings best.   I love the kids that are coming to my wedding.  But if they are loud and disruptive during the ceremony, I  will curse the parent under my breath.  Oh, and sick my mom on them.  She can be pretty scary.

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