Monday, January 26, 2009

The Dog Days of Brooklyn

I thought I would share with you all one day in the delightful life of having dogs in Brooklyn, NY.  The following are the events of one and a half days:

1. Mop eats a roach trap (we all have them in NY apartments)
2. I discover a 'bed bug' in my bed after putting together all my Ikea furniture and making my house nice
3.  Freak out
4. Strip all sheets, blankets and pillows and take to laundry people.
5. Jody and I sleep badly on our couch
6. Wake up to Brooklyn peeing on the new carpet 
7. As I am getting ready to take the dogs out after pee incident, Mop oddly pees on the carpet as well. When I pick him up he sprays pee everywhere and continues to pee on hardwood floor.
8. Brooklyn thinks it is funny to run around, hide and bark before we go on walk
9.  Mop eats a chicken bone on sidewalk.  Brooklyn finds a used condom which I must pry out of his mouth
10. Come home, take shower, leave couch bed pulled out with last sheet in house still on it
11. I get out of shower to find Mop on pullout bed, eating the barf that he barfed on the BED and the only sheet we have (suspect roach trap combined with chicken bone is culprit)
12. Barf is also on floor
13. Spend an hour scrubbing carpet and couch - then use a hair dryer to dry it. Couch still has odd stain.
14. Take dogs out again and discover Kerri Russell is my neighbor
15. Go out
16. Come home to pee on the floor again and two piles of barf
17. Take dogs out, Mop squats to poop and out comes a strange, bubble explosion of fart/liquid poo. He jumps in the air to inspect his butt. I jump because I thought it was some stray sick cat or bullfrog making the offending noise.
18. Mop liquid poops himself around the neighborhood. Poor boy
19. Landlord says we do not have bed bugs and refuses to get exterminator.
20.  Turns out he is right, what I found was just a regular old bug.  Did not get bitten for rest of stay in New York.

Lesson?  Do not let dogs eat roach traps or chicken bones.

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